4 Amazing Tips to get the Emotional Support you need during Infertility
Infertility is an extremely personal and emotional struggle. Feelings are right at the surface and its hard to know where to turn for a listening ear or emotional support. It is hard when some of the people closest to you just don’t get it. When the people you have turned to your entire life for love and support don’t know what to say, sometimes they don’t say anything or they say things that are hurtful. While totally unintentional it makes it hard to find a safe place to vent your feelings; a place where you can totally let loose all the crazy hormotional feelings.
Ladies- we have options…
There is a huge Infertility TTC (Trying to Conceive) Community on Instagram. Many ladies open (SECRET or private) accounts. If you have infertility but don’t want anyone to know this option is totally for you.
How to Start:
Come up with a name and open a separate email account. You will need this in order to open your separate Instagram account. Opening a separate email makes it so it won’t link to your Facebook account. Start searching hashtags to find people in your same situation to follow. We would love you to follow us @TriumphsandTrials
Here is what a few ladies have said about it.
@love.marriage.infertility Yes! I have a private, secret Instagram account to document our journey and express our emotions throughout the way. I have participated in care packages swaps, I have met some amazing ladies and I also now have insta friends who live near me and we go to lunch/dinner or meet at a coffee shop and just chat at least once a month.
@my.sweet.little.journey This is my ttc account created so I can share my vulnerabilities and find support, since in real life I would have a hard time sharing my feelings with the people I know. I can’t really describe how the support from this community has helped me through my toughest hours. Having people around you who understand your struggles is really comforting. Somehow you don’t feel so alone and find the strength to keep pursuing your dream of becoming a mom. Amazingly enough, I continue to find this community helpful after having a baby. We’re in this journey together and I am so thankful for all my ttc sisters, from the bottom of my heart.
Resolve is the National Infertility Association. Their website has a lot of great resources. They have in-person support groups nationwide. This is what Resolve has to say about their support groups.
“A support group, whether professionally-led or peer-led, will help you feel less isolated, empower you with knowledge and validate your emotional response to the life crisis of infertility. One of the most important benefits of participating in a support group is a decrease in the sense of isolation so many people feel when they are experiencing infertility. Plus, a 2000 study found that attendees of RESOLVE support groups had higher pregnancy rates than women who didn’t attend a support group.”
Resolve also offer online support groups that you can sign up for. Click HERE for more information on joining a resolve support group. Another great thing to consider about Resolve is that if there is not a group near you they have online trainings and you can start your own.
Here is a testimonial from Resolve:
As anyone coping with infertility knows, there is nothing anyone could say to make it better. It is talking to someone who truly understands where you are coming from that counts.
Counseling is another great avenue. Whether you go alone or as a couple, counseling can be a huge help in navigating this journey of infertility.
Infertility often creates one of the most distressing life crises that a couple has ever experienced together. The long term inability to conceive a child can evoke significant feelings of loss. Coping with the multitude of medical decisions and the uncertainties that infertility brings can create great emotional upheaval for most couples. If you find yourself feeling anxious, depressed, out of control, or isolated- you are not alone. Mental health professionals with experience in infertility treatment can help a great deal. Their primary goal is to help individuals and couples learn how to cope with the physical and emotional changes associated with infertility, as well as with the medical treatments that can be painful and intrusive. For some, the focus may be on how to deal with a partner’s response. For others, it may be on how to choose the right medical treatment or how to begin exploring other family building options. For still others, it may be on how to control stress, anxiety, or depression. A good therapist can help you sort out feelings, strengthen already present coping skills and develop new ones, and communicate with others more clearly. For many, the life crisis of infertility eventually proves to be an opportunity for life-enhancing personal growth.
If you would like to know more I suggest you check out this article from reproductive facts.Click HERE for the full article. They have more things to consider when choosing a counselor and questions to ask yourself to see if counseling is the right option for you.
Last but definitely not least- UIRC for all you UTAH readers.
The Utah Infertility Resource Center support groups provide a safe, welcoming environment for those struggling with infertility to connect with others going through similar struggles and find support for their infertility journey. Each of the groups meet on a monthly basis, are free of charge, and are peer-led by volunteers who have also struggled with infertility. Our current groups are as follows:
- Salt Lake City General Infertility Support Group – Second Tuesday 7 pm – contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Utah County General Infertility Support Group – First Thursday 7 pm – contact: email@example.com
- Weber-Davis General Infertility Support Group – Third Tuesday 7 pm– contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Adoption & Infertility Support Group – Third Wednesday 7 pm – contact: email@example.com
- Pregnancy and Parenting with Infertility Support Group – Fourth Wednesday 7 pm – contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Special Topics Workshops, Girls Nights, and Seminars– Periodic
No matter where you are in your journey of infertility, you will find support, information, resources, and always a little bit of humor at our support groups. All those struggling with infertility are welcome, including those just beginning their journeys and those already blessed with children. For more information, please visit our support group webpage:http://www.utahinfertilityresourcecenter.org/services/support-groups/
UIRC has many Facebook Support groups you can join if you prefer that as well. They also also offer counseling on a sliding fee scale. If you are in Utah I would suggest checking them out.
The times are changing we do have options to find the support we need! Please let me know if any of these have worked for you or if you know of some other ways to help a fellow infertility sister. We are in this together, Good luck!
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