1 in every 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage!
Miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy in the first 20 weeks. (In medical articles you may see the term “spontaneous abortion” used in place of miscarriage). 80 percent of these losses happen before 12 weeks.
The chance of miscarriage grows with age, these are the age statics:
22yrs – a 20% chance of miscarrying
35yrs – 33%
45yrs – 50%
The Circle of Life Women’s Center sees 15 to 18 miscarriages a week
They also do about 20 d&c’s a month
While I was at the office (for about an hour) they had 3 miscarriages come in.
Most miscarriages that occur from weeks 5-6 happen when the fertilized egg has chromosomal problems. You may end up with what’s sometimes called a blighted ovum; In this case, the fertilized egg implants in the uterus and the placenta and gestational sac begin to develop, but the resulting embryo either stops developing very early or doesn’t form at all.
Top Myths about miscarriage:
-Caused because of stress
-Caused because of heavy lifting
-With some changes, you could have prevented it
These are just not true!
Babies do just die. Over half of all miscarriages are caused by chromosomal factors that are completely out of our hands. Not preventable. Nothing we can do. The majority of the others are also unrelated to anything we personally did, but some infection that got us, a poorly formed placenta or umbilical cord, a hormone problem, or health condition we didn’t know about. Don’t let anyone, not even your partner or your mother (or yes, the mother-in-law) tell you this was your fault. It absolutely, positively was not.
In the very few cases that there was something we did/didn’t do to prevent the miscarriage, it is absurd to say that we could have anticipated what that was and should have known better. That’s like saying that we should have known to drive our car from the passenger seat down the opposing lane…in reverse. Don’t spend any time on regret.
The bottom line
There are a lot of people who have been through this and we just don’t talk about it enough. Most suffer in silence. Here are some ideas of ways to support someone you know and love who has gone through a miscarriage.
Listen to and let them talk…
If someone you know opens up and tells you about their miscarriage take the time to stop what you are doing and listen. Show genuine concern and love towards them. Most are not looking for advice or for some one to fix the problem. They just want to vent. Saying things like you will get over it or it wasn’t meant to be are not helpful just hurtful.
Ask them how you can help…
You could offer to bring in a meal or watch other children they may have. You could offer to help around the house. You know how you can be helpful. If you are unsure of what to do or say you can tell them that… and ask them to help you.. For instance. I am really sorry you are going through this right now I really want to help you but I don’t know what to do or say. What can I do to show you I care and help you out?
Send a card, note or small gift…
Dr. Jessica Zucker created a line of cards for pregnancy loss. In the aftermath of pregnancy loss it can be difficult for loved ones to know what to say/do. These cards aim to provide the antidote to “I just didn’t know what to say” by providing concrete and meaningful messages that relay care and concern. The artwork was created by Anne Robin Calligraphy. You can click on the Picture to purchase the cards and see what else she has to offer.
When someone experiences a pregnancy loss, this is a loving way to express your care.
Acknowledging the spectrum of emotions that might be felt after a pregnancy loss, this card grants permission to do anything that feels right. “Call me morning, noon, or night” drives home the point that you are supporting your loved one consistently.
Oftentimes, people who experience miscarriage/pregnancy loss/stillbirth/baby loss are terrified during their subsequent pregnancies. Pregnancy after pregnancy loss can be a very different journey than pregnancy prior to loss.
These baby loss/stillbirth announcements provide an opportunity for the grieving couple to share their news with loved ones/the community.
Our society is inundated with birth announcements. It is vital that we have concrete and meaningful ways to honor and acknowledge the loss of a baby.
Other Gift ideas. Click on the pictures for more details.
When you loose a child the rest of the world seemingly goes on while your heart aches. Sweet reminders like this footprint necklace remind you that a baby the world didn’t get to know did indeed exist and will never be forgotten.
Tallulah & Gray has been so generous to giveaway one of these beautiful foot print necklaces, in silver to one lucky reader.
To Enter: 1-FOLLOW ME
2-LIKE this picture on Facebook
3-FOLLOW Tallulah & Gray
4-Tag a friend in the comments (extra entry per comment) NOTE: One tag per comment.
Super easy right? Follow, Like, Follow, Tag!
The winner is Meliana Rogers! Congrats
Click on the picture to see all that Tallulah & Gray has to offer.