I was driving with Mitch the other day, and our conversation went a little like this…
Melissa: So Mitch, if you are bored, you could write an article about your feelings on Clomid.
Mitch: I’m not a very good writer.
Melissa: If I can do it, you can. You are a way better writer than me.
Mitch: All I would have to say is, “Clomid makes you crazy.”
Melissa: Ok, well I just thought I would plant a seed.
Mitch: Consider it planted…on very infertile soil.
Melissa: Well, that is how we roll.
We were both laughing and can joke about it now.
My very first experience with Clomid was nine years ago. It was the first thing the doctor suggested that we try, and he was fully confident that it was going to do the trick. We were so excited! On our way out the door, my doctor went to hand me the prescription. He stopped, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Tell your husband not to divorce you until after you get off this drug. IT IS A MOOD-ALTERING DRUG!” That made me a little nervous, but really, I was just so happy to finally try something.
I mostly remember being really mad. Things that would have just bugged me before would piss me off, like really bad. And I think I had a few panic attacks. I would get so angry, it felt like I needed to run or hit something, or else I was going to explode.
When I start taking Clomid, I feel like I need to warn everyone: Watch out I could strike at any minute! With the last round, I would wake up mad at the world for absolutely no reason. One morning I was in bed and upset. Mitch asked me if the Clomid was talking, and that made me cry. I knew it was, but I didn’t know how to make it stop it, so then he started dancing around the room to make me laugh. He tries so hard to support me! Then I was laughing, crying, and mad all in a matter of minutes. It is hard when you don’t know if your feelings are legitimate, or if this pill you are taking is messing with your head.
I took Clomid for a long time before we had Kaylee, and I had a really hard time knowing how to stand up for myself. Should I be mad or not? I didn’t want to be “crazy”, but I was always so mad. Every time I got my follicles checked, they looked great. We would get really excited. Then I would have cramps, nausea, and hot flashes, as if I was pregnant. Unfortunately, we have not been successful with Clomid.
I was not taking Clomid or any drugs when we got pregnant, but I know many others who have had great success without any of the side effects. I don’t regret trying it; I will do just about anything once. And we all do what we feel is best for our family.
In conclusion, if you know someone trying infertility medications, do them a favor and give them a “Get out of Jail Free pass”. When they act crazy or say something totally out of character, just let it go and know that they didn’t mean it. I wanted a baby so badly that I took those “crazy pills” for a long time, even though they made me so angry. My family and in-laws still comment about how I acted during that period of time. It is a hard thing to go through, for you and everyone else around you. Do you know someone who has taken the “crazy pills”?